Saban: Fiery ice queen, you burn so cold. Is that the flame or the chill I feel when our eyes meet across the flickering screen? You defy degrees Celsius, flummox Fahrenheit, confound even Kelvin. The quickening mercury in my thermometer doesn’t know if it’s coming or going. Are the scars from your chest bumps crisscrossing my pecs etched by ice-storm or by conflagration? No matter; I ache either way when I read again that you “accidentally bumped into a recruit”, bullet-points assessing their performance and explaining your hasty departure to the NCAA. Your cheating is the ultimate action item.

Surely Now I know what It’s like orgasming while eating blueberry sweet biscuit while posing as the atypical sidewalk alumni Bammeroid.

In just a short time as Tennessee’s new coach, Derek Dooley has already made a strong impression on four-star OT James Stone and his coach, Ralph Thompson. In fact, the Volunteers may lead Alabama for Stone’s services for the very fact that they hired Dooley.

“What I think is separating the two schools is the head coaches,” Thompson said. “I think that he is leaning toward UT just because of his like for Derek Dooley’s staff. In James’ eyes, Derek Dooley seems like he is more personable than coach (Nick) Saban. I think that is the difference.”

Thompson also had this to say about former coach Lane Kiffin: “Flat out, nobody liked Kiffin. I didn’t like Kiffin. James didn’t like Kiffin.”

Thompson added that, coincidence or not, the only members of Kiffin’s staff that he liked were offensive coordinator Jim Chaney and LB coach Lance Thompson, who happen to be the two retained by Dooley. “Pretty much everybody else on the staff, we thought were not personable and weren’t in it for the kids,” Thompson said. “If they would have stayed, James definitely would not have reconsidered Tennessee. And that’s a fact.”

Let’s see: Nick Saban, two national titles. Derek Dooley, nice guy ( fuck you Chris Low, you obese front running Bammeroid wannabe traitor fuck).