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Ohio State Failboat Giveaway

August 30, 2010
by Jai Eugene

ESPN Gameday Crew Laughing at Tennessee.  Chris Fowler and his ilk…Hardy fucking har…   They were talking about the SEC and the Metrosexual asked (tongue in cheek) “will Tennessee be a factor” and almost before he could finish his question Corso and Herbstreit emphatically say “NO!” Then they all laughed, and I cried.  Speaking of, is anyone surprised that Herbie picked his Buckeyes to go to Glendale?  Curious pick, JMO IMO.

Read more…

Arian Foster named starter for the Houston Texans

September 2, 2010
by nycvol010

Until he does this shit in the red zone.  It is coming…..he will drop the ball when it matters most.

If I was a professional gambler, I would bet the house.  With my winnings I could move up in this world  from the Boles Acres Trailer Park to the complex off of Dale County Road 21 in Ozark Alabama.  Them boys use saltwater filters in their above ground pools.

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5 million hits

September 2, 2010
by Jai Eugene

We crossed it today on the blog.

Savoring the day with the Battle Captain following yet another win over the Roids.

I saw this at WalMart in Ozark Alabammeroid.  Street dogs in Tuscaloosa consider the item in the photo above to be the equal to a tootsie roll, RTR.

Below is a slideshow that says thanks

TUNA

Picking at the (Bammer) Roids

September 1, 2010
by Jai Eugene

Can he sprinkle pixie dust on Mark Ingram’s knee? They’re called Bammeroids; you can have them as pets

Wednesday’s F. C. King Links

September 1, 2010
by Jai Eugene


HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER’S TOP 25 – Every Day Should Be Saturday
tennessee-tailgate-story
candice-collyer-is- playboys-uk-cyber-girl/
the-us-opens- hottest-tennis-stars/
Demi Moores’ Sexy Cougar Ass Dancing On Stage At A Snoop Dogg Show
Abigail Clancy looking drop-dead sexy for Love magazine
fat-guy-2- chicks-and-a-beach-chair/
Lions Safety Lou Delmas runs over children

The Geek Sheet SEC Preview

August 31, 2010
by Jai Eugene


The Geek Sheet SEC preview

Below you’ll find our projections for each SEC team and how that compares to their actual performance last season.  We have two separate projections that we run each off season to predict how a team should perform this upcoming season compared to last season based on a myriad of factors that include stability in the coach staff, returning letterman, returning starters by position, pre-season all Americans, all-conference, percentage of rushing and receiving yards returning, etc.  The analysis is broke down into offensive and defensive projections as well as the net differential (Total Offense / Total Defense).  Not surprisingly UF and Alabama topped that net differential chart last year as well as this year.  From there are projections support most of the consensus projections with Auburn and Arkansas basically a coin flip for #2 in the West and UGA and South Carolina in virtually the same situation in the East.

This is a pretty rudimentary analysis for projecting final results as scheduling becomes a huge factor, particularly in the SEC.  Auburn has a really favorable away schedule drawing the Mississippi’s, Kentucky, and Alabama on the road, as well as avoiding UF in the east rotation.  Arkansas also has a pretty favorable draw avoiding UF in the east, but has difficult road games at South Carolina, UGA, and Auburn.  For that reason we’ll give the Tigers the nod as #2 in the West.  The rest of the West is a bit of a crap shoot, but I do think this will ultimately be Les Miles swan song in Baton Rouge as the Bayou Bengals will grossly underperform again this year, and with the Jeremiah Masoli wildcard in Ole Miss and what appears to be an improving coaching staff in Starkville it might get really ugly for The Hat.  I’ll call for LSU #4, Ole Miss #4, and Miss St #6 but think those teams are a lot closer than people give the Mississippi’s credit for.

I am also going to nod with UGA as the #2 slot in the East, mainly because South Carolina draws the top 3 West teams (Alabama, Arkansas, and Auburn), as well as having to travel to Florida.  UGA has a much more favorable draw with road games at Miss St, South Carolina, Kentucky, and Auburn and doesn’t have to face Alabama.  Who knows what to make of the balance of the east, but if I am a betting man I’d put my money on a long road back to prosperity for Tennessee compared to a quick bounce back for the younger Dooley.  I think Kentucky will continue to perform well, and has a pretty decent draw with both the Mississippi schools and Auburn in the east, and gets UGA, South Carolina, and Auburn all at home.  The season finale at Tennessee could ultimately determine who finishes #4.   I’ll Lean with UK #4, UT #5, and Vandy as the cellar dweller.

I think we are in for a pretty exciting year, and with Bama facing a pretty tough road schedule (at Arkansas, South Carolina, Tennessee and LSU) as well as the mid-season UF show down I don’t think it is a cinch for them to win the West (although they are certainly the favorite).  I do think UF cruises in the east, with their only other SEC road games being at Tennessee and Vandy.  In the end I’ll call for UF to beat Bama in Atlanta, and for both teams to be in the National Championship hunt late into the season regardless of who wins the regular season showdown.

Offense


Defense


Net Differential (Total Offense / Total Defense)

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Tuesday’s F. C. King Links

August 31, 2010
by Jai Eugene

Morning Morning QB

August 30, 2010
by Jai Eugene


Dig it?
Hit it hard

My Fantasy Football Draft

August 27, 2010
by Jai Eugene


Today I am thinking of my fantasy football NFL draft.

Ho. Effing. Hum.

Does anyone even watch football anymore now that we have Lady GaGa to keep our attention? The NFL needs another OJ Simpson or Ray Lewis to once again capture our hearts and imaginations. To that end, I nominate Tim Tebow to forcibly sodomize a referee at the fifty-yard line at a Broncos game, and then fire a flare gun into the crowd. Alas, Tebow has seemingly found God in his Jockey underwear (er..Advertising campaign), so the odds of him taking one (or, more accurately, giving one) for the league are at best sixty percent Football Odds in favor.

Despite my apathy, I’ll be footloose and flashdancey free. My feet will be magic, my upper body moving in a way that suggests that there is fluid yet delicious evil below in my hips.

I will shake it until I break it, light up the sky like a flame.

I am further prohibited from describing the events of the draft. But I will tell you that my idea for Tim Tebow’s salvation of the NFL was influenced by events transpiring between a wild-haired actor, a certain wheelchair bound genius (I should point out that the beekeeper, if in fact he was in attendance, is both a moron and fully ambulatory), and a computer-modulated voice begging for help as stunned onlookers stared helplessly at each other in a moment with eerie echoes of the Jesse James/Sondra Bullock reconciliation.

None of this, however, has revived my interest in football. I drafted Joe Theisman to man the quarterback position in the first round and then proceeded to drunkenly proposition an Uma Thurman look alike (if she was, in fact, present), who took cunning advantage of my offers to trade kisses on the cheek for my draft picks. She’s now the favorite to take home the trophy.

And I fear I won’t be able to flush those feeble, tormented, robotic cries from my memory until the next year’s fantasy draft — where I look forward to repeating Spencer Tillman’s impassioned, unimpeachable defense of a man wearing eyeliner to a football-related event.

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Corncobs are the most obnoxious

August 27, 2010
by Jai Eugene

I love Auburn except when they play my beloved Vols. They hate the Bammeroid. Need I say more???

Urban Dictionary: Bammeroid

Speaking of my Vols:
12. Tennessee (No. 7 in 2008, No. 4 in 2010 AJC.com poll): Purely a sympathy vote. The formerly Big Orange has seen itself massively devalued from within. It has a lousy AD who hired the brat Lane Kiffin, and now this program is in a world of hurt. (In a display of bravery, the lousy AD just canceled a series with North Carolina) Put simply, I feel sorry for Tennessee fans. They deserve better than ham-handed Mike Hamilton.

Hapless Hamilton
Check the Tebow pic. We made the big time again.

The SEC’s most obnoxious fans: There’s a new orange No. 1 | Mark Bradley (the tebow/jorts pic is an LWS original.)

Friday’s F. C. King Links

August 27, 2010
by Jai Eugene

Bama Haiku

August 26, 2010
by Jai Eugene

Timeless and never gets old…

haiku: a Bammeroid
Red-ass’d and fancy free
but for the money.